


The Best Man

by bunnystealsyourcarrots



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Growing up into angst, Heartache, M/M, Mild Smut, Slash, The feels for your BF awaken, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-27 00:43:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8381098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnystealsyourcarrots/pseuds/bunnystealsyourcarrots
Summary: A Kylux modern AU where two boys grow into men who can talk about anything except for a tricky four letter word that begins with L.





	

If you're looking for an excuse for bad behavior, alcohol is a hell of a wonder drug.

 

Well into his twenties Armitage Hux frequently blamed lapses in reason on booze. Calling out something that can't clap back came naturally, and ah how easy it was to pin the root of his troubles on one too many shots. But truthfully, Hux had been a fan of mistakes since the day he first learned how to walk

 

...and he walked right into a table.  

 

The remarkably unbalanced boy grew up as the only child in a modest single parent home. By age four, he'd scraped every inch of skin available. Putting it mildly, the boy was adventurous and gifted beyond measure at giving his mother multiple mini heart attacks. Even when it came to something as simple as running, Armitage gave everything in his young life one hundred percent. He was always going going going, and if a slick surface was anywhere to be found in the Hux household than Armi’s foot was sure to discover it. At least twice a week he’d go down ass over ankles with a frightened shout, but just as quickly he'd laugh off his bruises.

 

Proving yet again that he was just too determined to let a little bump (or ten) bring him down.  

 

The small family lived in a sleepy suburb outside of Atlanta. There wasn't much to do for fun, and so when the little boy turned five he was promptly enrolled into soccer camp. For the life of her, Ms. Hux hoped that her bright son might pick up some coordination, perhaps a friend or two. As it was, she'd begun to find it a bit troubling that her child spent so much time outside letting off stink bombs on the sidewalk or using magnifying glasses to melt toy soldiers. The boy had a head for trouble, and poor frazzled Ms. Hux prayed that by the grace of God he'd hopefully run off some of his endless energy.

 

On the first day of training, the klutzy boy far exceeded his mother's expectations when he ran into another boy by the name of Ben Solo.

 

Like, actually ran into him.

 

See on a mad dash to the bathroom Armitage happened to chance an ill-timed look over his shoulder. Never seeing the boy in front of him until it was too late. They met with a loud smack before hitting the floor, and little Hux's milky skin blushed a bright cherry red. A whole beat passed in awkward silence until the other boy -who was all ears - let out a snort. Laughing with his palms smushed against his wide mouth, he absolutely lost it. Cackling so hard his feet kicked out, and his breathy contagious giggles helped take away the sting of embarrassment from poor hopelessly clumsy Armitage.

 

Sprawled out on their backs they laughed, and the other boy stuck out his hand. "I'm Ben."

 

"Did you say Ren?"

 

Ben snorted. "Do you know a lot of boys named Ren?"

 

"Nope," Armitage chuckled. "You'd be the first."

 

"Well, I do like being the best."

 

Trading grins, they then stared up at the ceiling. Since both were in no hurry to get back up on their sore legs they lay there, scuffing their cleats along the tile as the new boy gushed about how nice it was to have a break away from his two twin sisters. Making a face, he groaned over the utter unfairness of always ending up on the losing side of the tattle war between his younger siblings. Truthfully, poor Ben was starving for a loyal friend to rough house with - somebody not so sensitive who wouldn’t pout and run off to mummy. Somebody who might get into a stick fight without worrying about ants.

 

As far as the dark haired boy was concerned he was drowning waist deep inside a whirling pool of estrogen. The twins were always in his business, his father had run off before he hit four, and aside from the occasional visit from his stoic uncle, the boy was quite lonely. As was his luck, that day something about these two boys clicked. A kinship struck up within minutes, and even though Ben was by far the better athlete he generously sent passes later to the skinny kid who coughed when he laughed. By day five of the camp, they were inseparable, and their friendship cemented when Armitage accidentally kicked a soccer ball at their coach's butt.

 

Holding his side from laughing too hard, Ben thought his ribs might break. There and then on the field, he decided that the ginger boy was alright, and without any mention of it they went back to bonding over a mutual love of comics and McDonald’s nuggets.

_____________________________________________________________________________

**2005**

 

At age thirteen Armitage Hux practically lived over at Ben Solo's house. The two boys couldn’t get enough best friend time. In a dream world, they'd likely spend weeks together obnoxiously finishing each other’s sentences without anybody poking fun of them. Just the two of them shoving sour candy into their sticky mouths while laughing over inside jokes that nobody else could ever hope to understand.

 

After Ben's mother had remarried a couple years earlier she'd worried about how it might affect Ben. In order to help adjust to a new man in the house, they'd gifted the boy with every video game console possible. Technology filled the place of attention, and so Ben’s room became the official hang-out spot for the boys. Their hideaway where they spent hours annihilating each other over bloody war games.

 

Even at age thirteen Armitage Hux had earned a reputation at school for being an overachiever. His was always the first hand raised in class, and he didn't care one bit to be teased over it either. Spinning out hormones had him both sullen and seeking perfection, but behind the safe walls of Ben’s room he opened up to his friend in a way that he wasn’t able to with others. Less unsure, less guarded. Infinitely happier.  

 

On the flip side of the coin, Ben Solo was a thoroughly bad influence on young Armitage. It wasn't that he meant to get his friend grounded so often, but it seemed like every risky idea that Ben's devious mind proposed Armitage blindly went along with. At some point, you'd think Armitage would learn from all his scoldings, but the kids enthusiastically enjoyed pushing limits together.

 

True, they might have been immature dummies, but it can't be denied they were better friends for the thrills they shared.

 

One particular night they were left alone at Ben's house, and under that banner of parental freedom they snuck out to shoot off some fireworks. Earlier that morning, Ben had discovered the forbidden goods abandoned next to a trash can, and all day long he'd eagerly waited to test them out. The far less sure Armitage felt his stomach twist with nerves when they'd hopped out of Ben’s bedroom, and that anxiety only doubled when they wandered through the dark to a small field beside a construction site. Minute by minute, the lump in Hux's throat expanded minute until he practically choked with fear when they struck the first match.

 

Anticipating his friend's unease, Ben had brought a small flask of tequila. Hand to hand it passed, and when the warm liquor burned down Armitage’s throat he gagged.

 

“Crap. People really like this stuff?”

 

Between loud barks of laughter, Ben nodded. “Apparently they do Huxy. I dunno, maybe it just takes some getting used to.”

 

“Well not for me...”

 

“C’mon, don’t be such a stick in the mud. Here, have another sip. I dare you to.”

 

The right answer was no. It was idiotic to make the same mistake twice, but there was just something about Ben's bushy eyebrow wiggle that made it impossible to deny him anything. So young impressionable Armitage Hux took another sip that made his face shrivel up like a prune. Gagging, but swallowing down his fear once and for all with a gulp as he did his very best to keep from vomiting onto his sneakers.  

 

Four swigs later his head turned fuzzy, and by the time they let off their first real firework the boy was riding on a dizzy wave of tipsy euphoria.

 

Only a short while later the two chums were thoroughly smashed. All giggly pink-cheeked silly they were gleefully goofing off when naturally there occurred a freak accident. Living up to their unpredictable nature, one of the larger fireworks accidentally hit the crane in the nearby construction lot. With an ear-splitting screech, the whizzing danger rocket came ricocheting back towards the two terrified boys and dropping to the ground they hilariously ducked and screamed at the top of their lungs.

 

With a deafening pop, the blast went off only fifteen feet in front of them. Reds and yellows sparkled violently, and as they burst Armitage thought it really couldn’t get any better than drinking with your best friend while watching something explode. This was the life. For hours a steady spray of fireworks cracked sparkly streamers in the heavens above as the boys looked up in wonder.

 

When they’d run out of things to light on fire the boys went home red-faced from grinning so hard. Their friendship strengthened again more than they thought possible.

___________________________________________________________________________

**2008**

 

By the time high school rolled around the friends had grown up, but never apart.

 

In the bustling gossip filled halls of their school, the handsome Ben Solo was quite popular. The sixteen-year-old always had a pack of friends surrounding him, was well liked, and he possessed a natural ability for anything sporty. Whatever he set out to do he accomplished, but it was difficult for anybody who met Ben to wish any real ill towards him -especially when everybody was clamoring around for his attention.

 

If you wanted to be seen you simply had to be seen with him.  

 

Before his sophomore year, Ben had shot up in height. Thanks to playing sports his chest and arms filled out nicely too, and the girls in the halls began to take notice of the towering boy with remarkable amber green eyes. It hardly seemed fair to the rest of boys in his class, but Ben's growth spurt took place in the summer far away from taunting. Trading in skin and bones for broody swagger he was a force to be reckoned with, and as each year rolled into the next he only grew better looking. It wasn't unusual to catch girls blushing up a storm while clutching their schoolbooks to their chests when he went by, and some of the boys started silently questioning how fair it was that any boy deserved to called "pretty".

 

Over time Ben’s cheekbones sharpened, his jaw squared, but always he would remain so distractingly beautiful.

 

On the opposite end of the school social spectrum, Armitage Hux typically surrounded himself with a more _artsy_ standoffish crowd. Their group of surly hip intellectuals wore far too much black, swore off pop, and generally felt that their school suffered from an unfortunate plague of lame sell-outs. At any other school Hux could have easily ended up a social outcast, but Ben's friendship opened up the doors for inclusion everywhere. Where Ben Solo was invited Armitage Hux could go because even though their interests were evolving they still maintained a rock solid relationship.  

 

Over the years, Armitage hadn’t grown that much more outgoing, but he possessed his own special quiet charm. A less brassy confidence. The bookish Armitage was often described as exceedingly creative, driven, and clever. The type of student that was noticed - and much bragged about - by his teachers.

 

Thanks to his unreal pale blue eyes and pouty pink lips, Hux also didn’t go completely unnoticed by the teen girls in the hall either. Yes, by age fifteen both boys had traded more than just winks with the other sex. On bathroom walls, there were lipstick messages coupling their names with more than a few girls, but for the most part, the boys remained mostly free from a 24/7 preoccupation with getting laid.  

 

In the future, there would be plenty of time for girls, but for now, when Armitage wasn’t sketching portraits he still spent his afternoons hanging out at Ben Solo's. Hours upon hours they amused each other with shooter games or hilariously immature prank calls. Never bored if they were together, and Armitage felt he’d won the lotto in life when he met Ben.  

 

Never fully believing that somebody so ridiculously cool liked his company best.

 

*** 

 

On a particularly lazy afternoon, the lanky ginger lay sprawled out on his stomach on his friend’s bed. Patiently waiting for Ben to come out of the bathroom, he thumbed through a comic. They were supposed to play a card game involving zombies and guts, but since there was a mirror inside the room Ben was taking ages. As Hux mouthed along to a punk song lightly playing on the radio his feet kicked up in the air, but his legs dropped when the door opened behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, Hux raised an eyebrow when Ben emerged wearing black skinny jeans and a faded Ramones t-shirt.

 

Like a proud peacock, Ben strutted over. Flicking stylishly long bangs off of his brow with a smug look that practically shouted that he was about to reveal some big news. A now curious Hux set his comic down. "Hmm, what's got you looking all puffy, Ren."

 

“I think I’m getting a blowjob tomorrow.”

 

If Ben had come out and claimed that he was officially changing his name to "Den Dolo" then Armitage wouldn't have been half as shocked as he was then. The comic fell from his hand while his brain slowly processed the word _blowjob,_ and Ben chuckled at his best friend’s trout-like expression.

 

Coming back to his senses, Hux teased, "How do you know? Did you like, make an appointment?"

 

Ben's calm response to that cheeky question involved whacking the goofball with the nearest pillow.  

 

A less than repentant Hux shrieked between laughs while fending Ben off. They tussled for a few minutes, and it wasn't until they'd both stubbornly yielded that Ben continued on in a winded voice, "No, smartie. After school Chloe Thompson told me, 'I have something special for you. Can I stop by tomorrow?' Then she put her tongue in the corner of her mouth... and she poked it.”

 

It was hard to argue with that flawless logic, so Hux didn’t.

 

“Are you nervous then?”

 

Ben shrugged. “I’m only nervous that I might get off too soon, or that I'll take too long that she’ll get bored.”

 

“How long can you go for?”

 

As Ben did the mental calculations Hux propped himself up on his elbow. Watching Ben's brow crease with strain until he'd worked it out. “If I’m just trying to get off I can let it go in under a minute. If I have the time I can go for five, maybe ten.”

 

To put it mildly, Armitage was impressed. Since the first day, he'd accidentally touched himself in the shower he’d wanked off whenever he had a minute to spare. The teen went at it like he was getting paid, and poor Ms. Hux found that her son's sock collection kept curiously dwindling.

 

Eager to impress his friend, Armitage bragged right back, “Oh, me too!”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yup.”

 

Perhaps Ben didn’t fully trust the bold confession because a twinkle of something naughty flickered in his eyes.

 

“Prove it then.”

 

“Sure." Armitage laughed, rolling his eyes. "Why don’t I just whip it out here, and jack off in front of you.” 

 

“I dare you.”

 

Now, to be dared even as a teen isn't something easily brushed off. At those heavy words, Hux's stomach dropped. The pulse of peer pressure working its way again through his veins, and there was no getting around it. Of course, the idea was insane, but Hux's ego couldn't stand the bruising. Grunting out in annoyance Armitage hopped up to his feet, and then with extreme hesitation, he slowly zipped down his skinny jeans.  

 

The nervous boy kept waiting for Ben to admit that he was only messing about, that he didn’t actually expect him to do this weird thing in front of his friend. But on that cold November day sweaty electric energy charged in the air, and as Armitage slipped his hands into his pants it inspired Ben.

 

“Wait," he spoke up. "I’ll do it too. That way we can see who can get off quickest.”

 

Standing across from Hux, Ben unbuttoned his own jeans. His hands slightly shaking as the zipper went down while Armitage's own heart raced a mile a minute. It should have been comforting that he now wasn't going at it alone, but Armitage's surging anxiety hit the roof as Ben set a timer on his phone.

 

Not daring to look below they stared each other down. Both boys exposed then, their boxers pushed to the tops of their thin thighs with their jeans tugged down. Their hard stares challenged each other to a battle to see who could flinch first, but neither was giving up so easily.

 

To a stranger, the scene might have come off weirdly inappropriate, but both boys had seen each other naked dozens of times. They were shameless as only teens can be, and their competitive curiosity lead to them both gripping onto themselves like they did this all the time.

 

After a couple beeps sounded both boys began frantically tugging. They had started when they were both bone dry so it didn’t feel entirely comfortable, but neither complained. To the sounds of their staggering breaths they moved up and down and stubborn.  

 

Now Armitage had pleasured himself too many times to count, but when he caught Ben softly biting onto the fleshy bottom of his full lower lip something came over him.

 

An intimate feeling that didn’t even have a name yet.

 

Scared by the perplexing reaction, Armitage’s hand stopped. Giving up the game at once, but unable to stop staring at his friend's face as Ben's eyes squeezed tightly shut. Closing in on winning the bet Ben sharply inhaled, and call it a product of juvenile interest, but when Hux saw his friend's jaw tighten he suddenly rocked his own hips forward. Brushing them together lightly as Ben's eyes opened wide with shock.  

 

Immediately upon contact, Ben was startled, confused, but the pleasant sensations were unique enough that he didn’t pull away in disgust. He'd never experienced anything like soft skin nudging against him, and with a shuddering groan he wrung out dry.  

 

"Oh, f-fuck-"

 

Grunting through his intense release, Ben inadvertently coated Hux’s hand with streams of slippery wetness. Drenching his friend's fingers that began to move again, and without hesitation Hux used the messy lubrication to finish what he'd started. Not an ounce of shame showing when it felt so good, and seconds later flashes of light scattered across his vision.

 

Sticky and satisfied they stood in place with their trousers bunched around their knees. Both breathing heavily and feeling awkwardness creeping in. Clearing his throat, Ben reached for a box of tissues. Politely offering up some for his friend they couldn't help but smirk over how soaked they were from each other’s juices. It was kind of absurd really, and the humor of the situation helped momentarily distract the teens from the troubling realization that both of them rather liked it when they briefly touched.

 

Since they were hormonal self-conscious teens they didn’t end up having a deep conversation about feelings. Instead, they simply wiped themselves off like nothing particularly extraordinary had happened. Neither boy particularly cared to discuss how sublimely wonderful it had felt to be responsible for somebody else’s pleasure, and so they didn’t.

 

During the rest of the afternoon they busied themselves with normal conversations about upcoming school projects. Nobody acted outwardly awkward, and they purposefully avoided that tricky discussion that they maybe should have had instead. Yes, they went about behaving like everything was how it was before, because Ben Solo is straight, and Armitage Hux is shy.

_________________________________________________________________________

 

**2011**

 

A couple mistake-filled years later the best friends wound up at the same college.  

 

Even with packed school schedules, the two young men made sure to carve out time for one another. Hairstyles and names might have changed -Ben going by his middle name Kylo, and Armitage going only by his last name Hux- but they were still essentially the same close-knit friends. Not unsurprisingly, Kylo remained the more sociable fellow with his innate magnetic aura drawing others to him like a moth to a flame, and Hux was still not immune. After fourteen years as friends, where Kylo went Hux still followed, and neither would have it any other way.    

 

There was still nobody else that could make them laugh as hard, and yet it sometimes surprised them both that they still weren't sick of each other even after working as bartenders at the same bar. Much like when they were kids their afternoon and nights were spent together, but this time around they made decent money and earned more than their fair share of hastily scribbled phone numbers left on cocktail napkins. Like any service industry job their hours were chaotic at best, but fortunately since Ben only lived a couple blocks away Hux could frequently crash at his friend's apartment.

 

Often times if they were too tired (or too lazy to pull out the couch) they'd end up passed out in the same bed. Sleeping together didn’t feel weird. Under the sheets, they wouldn’t outright cuddle, but Kylo occasionally fell asleep with his body tucked into the bend of Hux’s back, his warm breaths light on his friend's shoulder.

 

On work nights Hux often claimed that he was much too tired to go home, but in all honesty, he never slept as well as when Kylo’s heart beat steadily against his skin. Another fellow might worry about what that meant for his manhood, but Hux was secure with himself. He only dated girls, and as far as he was concerned this was a normal reaction to a best friend.

 

By the time the bar Christmas party rolled around they'd shared their odd routine for months. The two friends were attached at the hip, and they took shots of cheap tequila at Kylo's before the party as they avoided the beginning of the night karaoke. One shot turned into six, and whenever they clumsily strolled towards the bar Kylo walked straight into a parked car. Grabbing his crotch he let off a howl of pain as Hux just about pissed himself from cackling.

 

It was just going to be one of those of nights.

 

In his incredibly drunk state Kylo held up his hand for silence. "Whoops, chocolates at home! Craaaap...gonna give every female server a Christmas hickey for a gift n'stead."

 

"Mmhmm, sure sure." Hux giggled. 

 

On another night the vulgar gifting wouldn't have been that difficult to pull off. Flirty Kylo had slept with most of the female staff anyway, but Hux severely doubted his friend's abilities when he swayed like a hipster sailboat in a hurricane. The challenge appeared lost before it had even begun, but somehow as the festivities carried on that night more and more girl's throats were marked by Kylo’s welcomed lip assault. True to his word he'd gotten around, and Hux had to admit that his best friend was damn impressive.  

 

Sometime around two in the morning Kylo ran into his favorite buddy. In the cramped hallway, they greeted each other with tickled expressions of delight as if they hadn't seen each other in years. Both of them sweaty and swaying from one too many beers. Failing at a hug they'd settled for leaning with their cheeks pressed against the wall, and miles away from sober they were happy as can be.

 

A loudly slurring Kylo bragged,

 

“I-got-‘em-all-Huxy!”

 

It should have been a triumphant moment, but unfortunately, Kylo slid down the wall as he spoke. His butt hitting the ground with oomph, and Hux cracked up over his friend's downright sloppy behavior. When eventually Kylo's gazelle-like limbs swayed up again he attempted a high-five, but he sadly only ended up slapping the air. The two friends collapsed into another fit of giggles, and the corners of their mouth's ached anytime Kylo's hand lifted up.

 

When eventually Hux could suck down a breath he leaned in close. Croaking, “You peaked too soon Kylo-lo-ho" he hiccuped."Now...w-what will you do?”

 

Drunk Hux's words reeked of whiskey, and upon the first whiff Kylo comically cringed. Wobbling backward like a newborn foal, he gave up on looking anything near sober when fearful of falling again he desperately snatched the front of Hux's shirt. Dragging down the fabric until Hux's nipples flashed, Kylo mumbled, “Guess I’ll have to move on to the guys.”

 

The heavy bass from the party blared loud, but Kylo’s startling words were not lost on his best friend.  

 

As Hux was properly shitfaced, he couldn't immediately whip up a witty response to Kylo's nonsense. His mouth parted in the meantime, but the only sound that came out was a long moan as Kylo’s mouth sucked harshly onto the side of Hux’s neck. Without bothering to ask for permission, Kylo smeared his warm lips to just below Hux's ear. Latching on with a needy whimper that triggered Hux's heart to hammer violently against his rib cage.

 

Equal parts pleasure and pain washed over Hux as Kylo tracked his lips lower. Pinned in place for his friend's use, Hux moaned as Kylo only increased his pressure after leaving a mark. Possessively gripping Hux’s thin t-shirt with his fingers, Kylo urgently suckled. Having his way. Wet, greedy, and grazing his teeth again and again against the sensitive skin once he discovered it made Hux gasp.

 

Rolling sensations of desire vibrated over Hux owning him. Every heartbeat tattooed Kylo's name against his ribs and he realized with a jolt that every touch felt better than when his girlfriend Jessie had sucked him off in the car earlier. Not even a blowjob could compete. That’s how intoxicating the other man's touch was as he proudly licked over the heart shaped red mark he’d made. As quickly as it had started it all stopped then, and when a still panting Kylo pulled back the air struck cold on Hux’s skin- a miserable chill contradicting the rest of his body's overwhelming heat.  

 

For a few minutes more they stayed drunkenly propped up against one another without words. Catching their breath face to face, but in that silence, something forever shifted their relationship.

 

Neither guy could wrap their heads around what that incident meant, but something new had worked it’s way into their bond. On his end, Hux didn't feel any immediate regret. Despite the oddness of it all, he wasn't alarmed by what occurred, but he did know that he could never hope to recover from what they'd shared. Their testing of new waters left him up to his knees in vulnerability, but Hux sure as hell couldn't fight the light happy feeling residing inside of him. The same inner glow that made him impishly grin for the rest of the night as he turned down multiple opportunities to hook up with somebody else.

 

The next morning Hux's fingers delicately traced the crimson mark that Kylo had stained onto his skin. He circled over and over the bruised proof that hammered in the point that what he'd experienced hadn't been another wet dream, but he didn't wince in shame. Far too much liquor still polluted his system, but Hux was sober enough to recognize that whatever flipped the switch in their friendship was different in a good way.

 

_Maybe the best way._

 

As far as Hux was concerned there were still no regrets on his end in the morning. Something so sublime couldn't possibly be ugly or obscene, and so how could it be bad? They hadn't hurt anybody, and nobody could say that the moment had felt one sided. It should have terrified Hux to consider what his best friend sucking on his neck meant for their friendship, but instead, he felt massively comforted that it was Kylo who'd shared this new unexplored experience with him. A new first for them.

 

As he shaved himself smooth Hux didn't cringe while eyeing the mark. In his opinion, there was nothing ugly or shameful about it. Even while gliding the blade down his jaw all he could feel was acceptance growing and a grin tugging his mouth when a text flashed across his cell from the man of a hundred hickeys himself.

 

**Kylo Ren: 11a**

**Want to come over?**

 

Within fifteen minutes Hux pulled into Kylo's driveway. Giddy with a spring to his hungover step, he knocked on the door. As heavy footsteps approached an eruption of nervous butterflies twitched their wings into a full-on flurry inside Hux's stomach, but he didn't storm away in a panic. As well as he knew his name he understood that everything would change once that door opened, but for the guy who thrived on structure he shockingly didn't mind. The dizzying feelings rushing over him were welcome, and when the door opened Hux only experienced uncertainty when he couldn't decide if they should hug now, or stick with fist bumps.

 

In the end, Hux settled for a wave, but when he slumped into the couch beside a still groggy Kylo they shared a knowing look.   

 

Everything about their situation was new territory for Hux. He couldn't begin to guess how this tricky conversation would go, or what would happen after they finished talking. Of course, he assumed that it would be awkward as shit at first, but Hux never expected that when he brought up the party with a slow smile Kylo would unconvincingly blurt out,

 

“Fuck me, I don’t remember anything from last night.”

 

Hux glared at him.  

 

After years of close friendship Hux knew Kylo almost as well as he knew himself. He could hear the lie, and worse yet he could plainly see that Kylo did remember what happened. Chewing on a fingernail to avert locking gazes Kylo looked down, and that stubborn refusal to talk was frustrating as hell for Hux. When a clearly jumpy Kylo shot up from the couch with the excuse to make breakfast for them Hux stayed silent. Grinding his teeth together he stared down at his hands in dismay, flatly refusing to be the one to bring up the intimacy they'd shared.

 

By claiming to have entirely forgotten what happened Kylo was taking the chicken shit way out. Never had Hux been more let down by his friend, and digging his nails into his thigh it enraged him that he was the one made to feel rejected. _He_ was the one meant to feel off even though he hadn't initiated the incident in the first place. All Hux could replay in his mind were Kylo's gasps matching his, and for that reason, Hux refused to put his emotions out there first. Staring angry daggers towards Kylo's broad back, Hux clenched his jaw to keep quiet. Up until that day, there wasn't anything the two friends couldn't ever talk about, but clearly, this particular subject was not up for discussion. It was infuriating.

 

Over eggs and toast the time for frank words about feelings passed by, and a too angry to do anything about it Hux let his dick-headed friend pretend nothing remarkable happened. 

 

From then on the two young men continued to hang out like things were normal between them. They worked together, spent days off together, and Hux wouldn’t even admit to himself that for the next month he kept bringing over wine in hopes that Kylo might let down his guard again.

 

That he might get _that_ drunk.

 

Work shifts came and went, but now sometimes when Hux passed out in Kylo’s bed he'd feel invisible sparks jumping back and forth between their skin. A call to be closer would scatter goosebumps down his flesh without any hope for relief, and it didn't help when occasionally Kylo's massive hand wound up on Hux's hip while he slept. Squeezing just enough to drive Hux miserable, and on these impossibly long nights, he desperately longed to roll over and have that damn talk.  

 

To tell his best friend that maybe that moment wasn’t just a drunken mistake meant to torture them with shame. That maybe also that night wasn't a fleeting sexual experiment so common in college. That maybe instead their relationship was always meant to transform into something even more rare and special, but sadly Hux couldn’t ever bring it up.

 

As long as Kylo pretended that he didn’t remember what occurred Hux wouldn’t dare rock the boat, because Kylo Solo is straight and Hux is terrified of losing his friendship.

______________________________________________________________________________

**2013**

 

At age twenty-three Hux was comfortably shacking up with his quirky girlfriend Phasma.  

 

The two had met in a new media sculpting class a year earlier, and Hux hadn't been able to look away from her. In a sea of swishy colorful bohemians, Hux had felt immediately drawn to Phasma's stark black and silver punk style. In the best way possible she stuck out, and it also didn't hurt that she had legs for days. Cute and compact had never been what got Hux off, and fortunately for them both, Phasma was a statuesque beauty who commanded attention. With her nose ring and shocking platinum hair, she was hot, unique, and disarmingly intelligent. They could talk for hours, and without putting on airs Phasma also inspired Hux to want to try new things- to reach her level. Quite simply, the girl was art and poetry in motion, and Hux couldn't stop drawing when they were together. In the little studio they'd whipped up in the garage she encouraged him to explore more, to take chances, and with ink smeared sex on every surface of their house he'd express gratitude. Never before had his sketches buzzed with such vitality, and he had the girl who tilted her head down to kiss him to thank for it.

 

For a couple years before then Hux had remained stubbornly single. Somewhere along the line, he'd convinced himself that hollow one-night stands were his thing, but after their first conversation bold Phasma wouldn’t take anything less than everything for an answer. All too quickly they fell into a natural pattern of dating, and then they fell into something that looked a lot like love.  

 

For months they were blissfully happy. Working, cleaning, and turning their new place together into a home. Head over heels for each other they even picked out a fluffy orange cat, and a week after bringing the raggedy beast home Phasma had the great idea to celebrate the occasion with an Ugly Sweater Housewarming Slash We Got A Cat party.  

 

Perhaps it was the communal adoration of all things red around this time of year, but the holidays always brought out the party mood in Hux. He was a sucker for festivity, and gulping down his mom's favorite eggnog recipe meant everything was right in the world. Lights twinkled above, his friends showed up, the cat miraculously was using the litter box, and Phasma was hilariously playing the role of DJ for the night. The music was all terrible hardcore covers of Christmas songs that made even their eclectic crowd of friends giggly, and as the songs got progressively worse and worse Hux couldn't fake being surly if he tried. The house positively swelled with love and winter wine, and there wasn't a drop of shyness present in Hux even while wearing the reindeer sweater that Phasma had forced him into. Barking out laugh after laugh with friends on the deck he was having an absolute blast until Kylo showed up.   

 

The second their gazes met Hux's grip tightened on his mug.

 

He hadn't reckoned that Kylo would stop by at all. Nothing awful or dramatic had occurred between them, but they hadn’t seen much of each other recently. Apparently, there'd been no time left for old friends between Kylo's new high stressed job and his chipmunk adorable clingy girlfriend, Rey. He hadn't bothered to RSVP, but over the years Hux had lowered his expectations. He reckoned he'd get a BS text in a couple days explaining his absence, but at half past midnight Kylo showed up pissed and loaded. His inky black hair tousled in every direction as if he'd angrily dragged his fingers through it for hours.

 

Instead of apologies or explanations, Kylo stomped over to Hux. Without caring in the least that he was making a scene, Kylo grabbed onto his best friend’s arm to guide Hux into a spare bedroom. It was his will or bust, and by the time the door slammed behind them he'd angered Hux as well. Turning to give his obviously distraught friend a piece of his mind, the redhead glowered as Kylo threw himself down onto the bed.

 

"What's with you?" Hux snapped.

 

Tugging off the leather jacket, Kylo only growled in reply. Clearly not finished making a scene he pushed the sleeves of his tattered black sweater up to his elbows before standing up. With restless quick yanks, he unfastened his leather belt from his jeans before dropping back down to the bed with an aggravated grunt as an incredulous Hux could only repeat himself.

 

"What's gotten into you Ren?"

 

The ceiling's decorations of flashing Christmas bulbs played against the shadows in Kylo’s gaunt face when he jerked his head up.  Every beautiful sharp feature highlighted by rainbow colors as he spat out, "Your sweater is shit."

 

"Yeah, that's kind of the point." Hux laughed, staring down at the reindeer covered monstrosity.

 

"Well good job." Kylo retorted behind a sniff.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Instead of a verbal response, Kylo dug the heels of his palms against his face. Pushing against his eye sockets with another growl, but utterly helpless to stop the flood of tears. One by one those tiny traitorous wet pearls of sadness snuck out to spill down, and with shame glossy on his cheeks he lost the fight to maintain steady breaths.

 

Trying and failing with everything he had to be that guy that could keep it together.  

 

Tragically for Hux, even when Kylo was hanging on by a thread he still had a face that bordered on feminine loveliness. All sharp angles and shiny tears he wasn't somebody you could ignore. If there was a galaxy, Kylo was a supernova urging you to stare into his destruction, and poor Hux's rightful anger immediately dissolved away when his friend broke down. Nothing but empathy left as Kylo gasped between sobs, “Shit...shit Hux...I caught her with another guy.”

 

“Who?” Hux demanded.

 

“Rey. I came by to pick her up... and she was necking on her fucking roommate.”

 

"Wait...the bagel guy?”

 

“Yes, the fucking bagel guy!”

 

When Kylo dramatically buried his face in his hands, Hux resisted a sly joke. Instead of merciless bagel boy teasing, Hux plopped down beside his upset friend on the bed. In life, everybody has that one person who can talk them off a hysterical cliff, and for Kylo that person had always been the boy with eyes so clear they were almost gray. That same copper-headed boy had grown into a young man who knew from practice to stroke Kylo's unruly hair until his breathing slowed back down to normal, tugging away worries one hair at a time as sorrow shook his friend's limbs.  

 

In all the world there was nobody else that got Kylo the way that Hux got him. Around his Hux, he didn't have to pretend be anything other than himself. He could openly hurt around his rock to lean on, and the good thing about being an emotional boulder is that you don't always have to talk as others draw strength from your stability.

 

Tears dampened Hux's ugly sweater for several minutes as Kylo unashamedly buried his head against his friend's chest, and his arms wrapped around. Through every last sniffle Hux continued to softly tug his gutted pal's hair. Soothing him, passing no judgment. Offering no reassurances, because he knew how much Kylo loathed an empty promise. Eventually, when a calmer Kylo could lift his head he noticed that Hux's chapped lips were stained a dark burgundy hue from wine. All of the sudden, Kylo remembered where he was, and he cringed in embarrassment. 

 

"Sorry for showing up..." Kylo sniffed, exhausted from feeling painfully vulnerable as the tears kept trickling down to his lips. "It's a crap thing to do."

 

"It's ok."

 

"Why can't I just be happy?" Kylo's raspy voice asked, slowly shaking his head. Worry clouded his expression, but instead of launching into an explanation he closed the short distance between them. Pressing his lips unexpectedly against Hux's with a gentle whimper.  

 

It took a solid beat for Hux to realize that he was being kissed.

 

All tight-lipped he was frozen in place. Shocked with his breath lodged in his throat before the second press oh so slowly parted Hux's lips. Forgetting all the reasons he shouldn't, Hux opened up to Kylo then. Answering back the caress with a sensitive tenderness as their lips brushed together. Under flickering red and green lights, they slipped into a sweet kiss like it had always been this way- like they'd never wasted another kiss on anybody else. Moving in sync without awkwardness they shared teary, salty tastes that tripped across their taste buds and neither could stop going back for more.

 

Sounds of the party faded when Kylo moaned his name. Nothing existed then outside of their hands exploring, and neither one considered the horror they'd face if somebody walked in on them making out on top of new sheets purchased by Hux and his girlfriend. Sense didn't matter then. The right thing meant absolutely nothing when Kylo found security against the adoring press of Hux's mouth, and no kiss had ever tasted as good.

 

Any dreams Hux ever had paled against the brilliance of Kylo sucking lightly on his lower lip, his rough palms cradling Hux's cheeks. The urgent carnal exchange as they drowned further under liquid confidence. Between kisses they didn't speak either, couldn't see the use. Sucking on the end of Kylo's tongue, Hux failed to see how they could possibly improve upon this with anything as boring as words. Nothing could ever be hotter than surrendering in perfect sync, blurring desires.

 

Urging on the kind of desperate kiss that normal best friends don’t share.

 

Everything left unspoken for years poured into that kiss. An urgent biting, tugging, and deliciously sweet clumsy battle for dominance. A passionate back and forth where neither one could fully decide who could submit more, but both grew frenzied to claim.

 

Needing more.

 

After years of build up the caresses weren't the least bit one sided. Neither man could stop touching, and when their knees pressed together all Hux could fixate on was if Kylo still sounded the same when he got off. If before he cums would his lips again stain pink to white from biting back a curse before with a shaky groan he lets his lust drain dry. _Will it taste like mine?_   _Will I be able to resist licking it up?_

 

Obsessed to feel the weight of his friend's erection in his palm, Hux drifted his hand up Kylo's thigh. Torturing with slow hesitation, and in return, his friend clawed at Hux's bulky sweater. Gathering up the wool, he brushed his fingertips against the ship tattoo that covered Hux’s ribs. Soft gasps tumbled from between their lips, and it was obvious to both of them that nothing less than skin to skin would do.

 

Only Hux could ever ease the hurt in Kylo's heart. Only Hux could make everything better, and when they laid back down on the bed they pressed tightly against one another. Both holding on for dear life as lust clouded their senses and their bodies meshed. Away from everybody else they fit together, and for once they stopped fighting what felt most natural.

 

Stopped trying to pretend that anybody else could possibly make them strain this painfully against their jeans. Stopped acting like anything else could ever feel this real. This intense.

 

"You feel-"

 

"I know," Kylo gasped back, impatiently claiming Hux's mouth again as if he couldn't stand to part for the length of a sentence. Drunk and teary wasn't meant to be their first time, but Hux's doubts disappeared the more insistently Kylo rocked his body against him. After what happened years before this was dangerous - damn near suicidal. Another awkward night blamed on booze was Hux's worst nightmare, but worries vanished when Kylo crawled on top. Straddling his best friend, Kylo's warm muscular body was hard in all the right places. With a shuddering groan, he pinned Hux beneath him, rutting their erections together with eager strokes. The greedy rush sending Hux's hips arching up with desire as Kylo's near black eyes never left his. 

 

Under blinking lights all that could be heard were wet smacking lip sounds mingled with frantic denim scratching. A symphony of want shut out everything else in the world, but then almost as easily as it started Kylo's body stiffened. The lustful panting turning into a pained groan as his hands shook against the mattress.

 

Silently rolling in his lips, Kylo's hips went still. Pausing for the longest moment in Hux's life before he abruptly slid off from on top of his friend, and his head hung. Even though Hux was left in physical discomfort he hated seeing his friend miserable. Ignoring his own raging hard on, he reached his hand up to softly smooth the thin streams of depression off Kylo’s skin.

 

Neither one knew quite what to say as Kylo's chin tipped up, but he leaned into Hux's palm. Unable to resist being far even as they both worried about what they'd never be able to take back. Before the rest of the world ruined everything, Hux placed three small pecks onto his best friend’s stubble dusted cheek. His deep voice whispering on the last press,

 

"You're so beautiful."

 

The most honest words that Hux ever shared with Kylo might have gone unheard, but when he stole his last kiss an embarrassingly shaky breath stuttered out between Kylo's lips.

 

The sound lifted a weight off of Hux's shoulders. There was no doubt in his mind then that their shared affection couldn't be brushed aside as forgettable again by any Kylo that sounded so besotted. Unlike before, things wouldn't be left unsaid again. Staying together was too important to get wrong this time, but unfortunately, Hux was also far too tipsy on wine and kisses to string together a sentence that seemed human.

 

"Kylo, I...Well I mean...I think, no...I know that I-"

 

Mucking it up already, Hux's cheeks colored. Flustered as he'd ever been even as Kylo's finger lightly stroked against the back of Hux's knuckles. His comforting smile silently promising he'd wait for Hux to compose himself- and then possibly give him hell for it later. 

 

On that night a brief precious window of time swung open for them to make things right. After a couple more seconds Hux might have found the right words for them, and they might have discussed what this meant for their friendship. They might have shared that neither one of them had ever experienced a kiss quite like that before. Beneath the red and green glow, they might have discussed their long-standing secret problem, and they might have even each found the courage to be honest.  

 

An endless bouquet of hope filled possibilities lay at their feet, but Kylo’s phone vibrated, and when they looked over they saw Rey’s name flash across the screen.   

 

Just like that, whatever moment they could have had was cruelly snatched away. Anything good ripped to shreds as Kylo took the call and Hux came up with an excuse to leave the room. Already fleeing before Kylo could hear the sobs shaking Hux's chest as he heard his friend desperately plead to the person that wasn't him,

 

"Please stay with me babe, you know I love you."

 

For hours the party went on without any guest aware of the horrific pain inflicted on the host. Nobody else noticing that when Kylo left without a goodbye Hux polished off an entire bottle of wine. Numbing away the taste of something he couldn't have Hux ruined himself until he eventually fought with Phasma over something trivial at best. Whatever they argued over wasn’t worth the vicious shouting in front of their friends, but it did rightfully earn Hux an uncomfortable spot on the couch for the night.

 

A girl that loved Hux with every inch of her heart went to bed furious, and their perfect night had been ruined. Everything good in shambles, and that should have been the reason why Hux’s pillow was damp from tears, why he couldn't sleep a wink.

 

But the real blame for each drop of moisture was the sad fact that Kylo was straight, and Hux didn’t know if he could stand it.  

___________________________________________________________________________

**2016**

 

It took them an incredibly long time, but on a very big day Kylo and Hux are sharply dressed in dapper matching tuxedos.

 

They were styled together, dressed together, and together they check themselves out in a long mirror. Bright eyes missing nothing while waiting for the wedding ceremony to begin. Their reflections show two devilishly handsome men. Light and dark perfectly matched, and they can't stop gushing about nonsense. For the happy couple, it’s about to be the most thrilling day of their lives, but the soon to be married couple aren't the two best friends in the room.

 

Today Kylo and Rey are the lucky twosome, the beautiful people excited to stand in front of their conservative families while proudly admitting to the world their undying commitment. Today they’ll take an important step towards a new direction of their lives, and as best man Hux has to be hopeful for them.

 

No matter how Hux feels it’s his loyal duty to hold his oldest friend close when they hug on the way out. To grip without letting it linger for too long. The light squeeze will mean everything before letting go, and for the fortieth time today Hux swears to Kylo that he has the rings safely tucked into his pocket.

 

In every meaning of the phrase Hux is Kylo's best man.  

 

At the entrance of the church Hux chances one last look over towards the gorgeous guy who's held his devotion for so long. Maybe he feels the heat of the gaze because Kylo turns too. His lips twitching before flashing one of those dazzling special smiles that only Hux has ever seen. "How do I look?"

 

"You'll do, Ren."

 

It's a perfect last moment for the two boys who've grown into handsome realistic men. Side by side Hux knows that he could hold onto this version of Kylo for forever, but today he's letting go.

 

For Armitage Hux the time to make excuses has long since passed. There's no more wasting time on wishes. There's no more keeping around strong scotch to explain away desires. Each step closer to the alter lets Hux fade away his ache for his best friend. Without any bitterness, he urges his secret hopes and romantic dreams to scatter into the wind whipping in the air today. Realizing at last that his sanity is worth more than the meager scraps of affection Kylo occasionally throws his way.

 

Under a floral canopy under the watchful eyes of a priest, Hux has a passing thought cross his mind,

 

_I can't let his breath and his touch be the end of me._

 

Running his finger over the wedding band in his pocket, Hux rightfully suspects that he could have made them both happier if only Kylo had found the bravery to be honest. That their friendship could have thrived after letting go of its innocent roots in order to blossom into something different. But today Hux doesn’t intend to disrupt the service. Today he doesn't even humor the thought because there's no sense confessing something they both know.

 

Today the best man is moving in a new direction in his life, because his Kylo Ren is straight, and Armitage Hux deserves better.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally had a version of this story up in another form, but I kept seeing Kylo and Hux in it. The story evolved, and I fully believe that the image of Hux in a X-Mas ugly sweater pushed me over the top of restraint. I have none.
> 
> Love to hear what you thought!
> 
> -Bunny


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